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Forum Home > General Discussion > Jed (or anyone else)do you feel done with this world?

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Anyone feel done with this world?  I mean for myself zero limitations would provide entertainment (perhaps) but really what am I doing here?  I feel unlimited in a limitation world....Once the attachments go there is nothing holding me here (except partner who feels the same).... I have no desires/wants that I'm aware of.. Does anyone understand this?    It definitely is all about discomfort/comfort... I feel I don't fit here anymore but just try to keep myself in comfort ...I feel like this world has nothing to offer anymore...Does anyone understand this?  

December 22, 2012 at 10:22 AM Flag Quote & Reply

red
Member
Posts: 2063

Yeah , I felt done with the world, where would I go? Anywhere I go there I am, that's when I forgot the world and started feeling done with me. 

December 22, 2012 at 10:30 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Murmandamus

Posts: 605

I don't feel "done" in the sense that Jed talks about it in the books, as in "enlightened". But I do feel done with the world (and myself) in the sense that it has nothing left to offer, those exact words have crossed my mind many times before. I've been trying to find out what it is what I really want for at least a decade, and as it turns out, not only can't I find anything, but it has become clear that there is no possibility of finding anything. So for me the only thing that I find really worth a shot is to see what's "on the other side" (of delusion). Right now that's the only thing that keeps me going, aside from not having the guts to end it just now.

December 22, 2012 at 10:35 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Thanks Red for your response.

Yeah but I don't even feel like there is an "I". ...it's like "i'm spread out" if that makes sense

All I know is I'm always seeking comfort.  This world doesn't feel right  anymore...

December 22, 2012 at 10:39 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Murmandamus at December 22, 2012 at 10:35 AM

I don't feel "done" in the sense that Jed talks about it in the books, as in "enlightened". But I do feel done with the world (and myself) in the sense that it has nothing left to offer, those exact words have crossed my mind many times before. I've been trying to find out what it is what I really want for at least a decade, and as it turns out, not only can't I find anything, but it has become clear that there is no possibility of finding anything. So for me the only thing that I find really worth a shot is to see what's "on the other side" (of delusion). Right now that's the only thing that keeps me going, aside from not having the guts to end it just now.

Thanks for the honesty.  Yeah it's all mind delusion isn't it?  I haven't ended it because I figured I went through this long process and want to see how it ends.  But I'm not sure I can hang on...

December 22, 2012 at 10:42 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Murmandamus

Posts: 605

Well, not to sound all gooroo-y again, but who is hanging onto what? I've contemplated suicide before, in 2006, and I finally decided to just stick around for a while and see what would happen. I could always kill myself later. It was simultaneously a pussying out because I didn't really have the guts then either. I didn't want to die so much as just to stop living :P (if that makes sens). But it was also for me a significant moment of surrender. Of course all this was long before I looked into anything "spiritual" or "true", so I had no clue what I was doing or why, and before I knew it I was trying to rebuild a life. But the point remains, especially if you're "done"-done, why not stick around and see what happens? You can always kill yourself later.

December 22, 2012 at 11:04 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Murmandamus at December 22, 2012 at 11:04 AM

Well, not to sound all gooroo-y again, but who is hanging onto what? I've contemplated suicide before, in 2006, and I finally decided to just stick around for a while and see what would happen. I could always kill myself later. It was simultaneously a pussying out because I didn't really have the guts then either. I didn't want to die so much as just to stop living :P (if that makes sens). But it was also for me a significant moment of surrender. Of course all this was long before I looked into anything "spiritual" or "true", so I had no clue what I was doing or why, and before I knew it I was trying to rebuild a life. But the point remains, especially if you're "done"-done, why not stick around and see what happens? You can always kill yourself later.

I have been sticking around waiting to see what happens...I change but the world hasn't.  My life was taken away from me by this 'force'.  Many of you were meditating and were on 'spiritual searches'.  For my partner and I it just 'turned on'.  After years I real eyes'd all beliefs were a trap.  They never finalized or completed.  Like Bob's tools.  You'll do his tools for 30 years but perhaps never reach Phase III.   Like the 'opium called enlightenment'..probably just more mind delusion...another 'carrot' to keep you hanging on...How long do you wait to see what happens?  Another year...another  10 years...The waiting seems a trap just like beLIEfs.  Just like the 'opiums' 'bliss' and 'enlightenment' blah blah blah...I so feel like a Pavolovian dog...manipulated and controlled by the scripting...chasing my tail...

December 22, 2012 at 11:12 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Murmandamus

Posts: 605

But isn't it just another belief to consider it waiting for something? Your mind is already "thinking ahead" about the drag of another 10 years, but that's just another story. It's the reverse opium. You can sell yourself on the carrot of enlightenment to want to live, or you can sell yourself on the dungheap of protracted anguish to want to die. You've seen the carrot for what it is but maybe you haven't seen the dungheap for what it is yet? It's no more real than the carrot. Nobody ever took your life away, that's just more story. If things seem nihilistic, it's only because you are still somehow imagining that it could (and perhaps should) be otherwise. But the only thing that ever lived up to any fantasy is the fantasy itself. Reality only looks nihilistic compared to fantasy. Hey all this coming from a deluded schmuck, how about that ;)

December 22, 2012 at 11:20 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Murmandamus

Posts: 605

Anyway I don't know what you should do. I don't even know what I should do.

December 22, 2012 at 11:22 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Cool1
Member
Posts: 1004

AC: Your comment about trying to figure out what you want brings to mind something I recall from Milton Erikskon who was talking about someone (a child?) who was given all kinds of stuff but  who "wants to  want."  You talk about finding out what is on the other side of the delusion.  I have no problem with that, but you already seem to "know" there is nothing there, or do you imagine there is?  


Now the "enlightened ones" like Nisargadatta say there is nothing wrong in their world.  Is there anything wrong in yours?  Is it a feeling?  Have you set yourself up for a paradox in which the "finding" would entail a loss, i.e., no more searching?  In my own efforts I attempt to put all of these aside in the conceptual garbage heap and see what's left.  Sometimes there is only awareness and as for me, as Ahab said, 'tis enough."  I would add that it is more than enough.

December 22, 2012 at 11:28 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Murmandamus at December 22, 2012 at 11:20 AM

But isn't it just another belief to consider it waiting for something? Your mind is already "thinking ahead" about the drag of another 10 years, but that's just another story. It's the reverse opium. You can sell yourself on the carrot of enlightenment to want to live, or you can sell yourself on the dungheap of protracted anguish to want to die. You've seen the carrot for what it is but maybe you haven't seen the dungheap for what it is yet? It's no more real than the carrot. Nobody ever took your life away, that's just more story. If things seem nihilistic, it's only because you are still somehow imagining that it could (and perhaps should) be otherwise. But the only thing that ever lived up to any fantasy is the fantasy itself. Reality only looks nihilistic compared to fantasy. Hey all this coming from a deluded schmuck, how about that ;)

You're using your beLIEfs (head) to try and understand my world.  I live in the moment.  I can't hold onto images or thoughts about the past anymore.  I have access to those thoughts and images but can't hold onto them. The present moment is always about comfort/discomfort.    You said yourself above "I finally decided to just stick around for a while and see what would happen".  That's an action.  Not a beLIEf.    I'm saying in the present moment I feel like a stranger in a strange world.  I have little to no attachments.  I have an empty mind and I feel no anger, sadness or fear.  I feel like I'm done with this world.  It doesn't fit anymore.  It used to fit when I was in my character role.

December 22, 2012 at 11:31 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

The characters are chasing 'opiums' and have their beLIEfs and have their attachments.  This world works for them.

December 22, 2012 at 11:33 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Cool1
Member
Posts: 1004

It sounds like you don't accept the validity of these characters for what they are or are not.

December 22, 2012 at 11:38 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Cool1 at December 22, 2012 at 11:28 AM

AC: Your comment about trying to figure out what you want brings to mind something I recall from Milton Erikskon who was talking about someone (a child?) who was given all kinds of stuff but  who "wants to  want."  You talk about finding out what is on the other side of the delusion.  I have no problem with that, but you already seem to "know" there is nothing there, or do you imagine there is?  


Now the "enlightened ones" like Nisargadatta say there is nothing wrong in their world.  Is there anything wrong in yours?  Is it a feeling?  Have you set yourself up for a paradox in which the "finding" would entail a loss, i.e., no more searching?  In my own efforts I attempt to put all of these aside in the conceptual garbage heap and see what's left.  Sometimes there is only awareness and as for me, as Ahab said, 'tis enough."  I would add that it is more than enough.

It's a really really deep inthe core feeling.  Like I'm so detached there is nothing holding me down.  These supposed 'gurus' that claim to be 'enlightened' are popular for what reason?  Why are they presented in this dreamworld? Are they selling something?  I don't care about the world around me.  That's not it.  I don't care about the storyline. It's about my own personal world within the context of the world around me.  It just doesn't fit .  Something about this world doesn't smell right...It doesn't feel right to me anymore.  It's a feeling...

The characters around me are chasing 'love' or sex or weight loss or 'enlightenment' or materialistic stuff or beLIEfs blah blah blah.  Once all that stuff doesn't matter anymore there is no attachment.  With no attachment there is nothing holding you here anymore.  

December 22, 2012 at 11:39 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Cool1 at December 22, 2012 at 11:38 AM

It sounds like you don't accept the validity of these characters for what they are or are not.

No that's not it.  They're fooling themselves in their character roles.  If I could go back I would but I can't.  This started one day like thunder and lightening.  That's why I've said the characters are in the 'land of the living' and I'm the 'living dead'.  The 'force' took away my life and now this world is no longer a fit.  It doesn't feel like a fit.  What am I doing here?

December 22, 2012 at 11:43 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Cool1
Member
Posts: 1004

I don't know you, AC, but I am just reacting to your words...You do not sound detached; you sound upset.  Detachment can ironically be something that is held onto.  Jed discusses non-attachment in Damndedest. It may be a by-product of enlightenment but not an end in itself.  

Feelings are something that arise and fall, even if you try to hold onto them.  Can you allow this feeling or do you need to detach from it?


December 22, 2012 at 11:49 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Murmandamus at December 22, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Anyway I don't know what you should do. I don't even know what I should do.

Yeah I understand...sigh....

December 22, 2012 at 11:50 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Cool1
Member
Posts: 1004

if   you have isolated the feeling, then you are in a great "place" to go further.  There may be less to this than you imagine.  But even if there is more, have you tried the drill?  See if you can Kilobize it?  

December 22, 2012 at 11:54 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Cool1 at December 22, 2012 at 11:49 AM

I don't know you, AC, but I am just reacting to your words...You do not sound detached; you sound upset.  Detachment can ironically be something that is held onto.  Jed discusses non-attachment in Damndedest. It may be a by-product of enlightenment but not an end in itself.  

Feelings are something that arise and fall, even if you try to hold onto them.  Can you allow this feeling or do you need to detach from it?


Those are word games.  Feelings are different than emotions. Why would somebody be attached to this world when they've detached from everything in it?  That doesn't make any sense.   Those supposed 'gurus' had an attachment to this world?  Why if they were detached from everything in it? 

December 22, 2012 at 11:55 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Jed McKenna

Posts: 381

Cool1 at December 22, 2012 at 11:54 AM

if   you have isolated the feeling, then you are in a great "place" to go further.  There may be less to this than you imagine.  But even if there is more, have you tried the drill?  See if you can Kilobize it?  

lol...some of you in here are so stuck in your heads playing games with yourselves...thanks 

December 22, 2012 at 11:56 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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